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Thursday, November 6, 2008

{8} to {21}

Yesterday I received a frustrating email. Earlier this week I contacted my facilitator up at headquarters to inquire about my missions support percentage. Looking back, I think I was due for being put in my place by the "man upstairs." I wish I didn't have to admit this, but my inquiry was out of desire to boast. I expected to receive a response to my email something like; " wow Kate, although support has taken a big hit due to the economic crisis, you have worked hard in raising support and it is really paying off." Hahaha....seriously, what was I thinking? Looking back on my selfish and boastful thoughts makes me laugh at myself. Who am I to think that I had ANYTHING to do with the money that has come in? Well as if that doesn't make me feel ridiculous enough, the response I received made my mouth drop.


Now, I don't want anyone who may read this to think that I'm posting that percentage so that you feel sorry for the "poor missionary who isn't even in double digits yet." Not at all...I post it because the story gets even better! Ok, so here I am, being ridiculous and thinking that I'm getting this support on my own accord and then the next second thinking that I'm a failure because I'm not even at a mere 10% yet. Like I said on my last post...if I was at 0% right now or 99%, is God any less worthy of my praise? NOPE! He is the one in control of this whole ordeal. He is the one who has orchestrated my heart towards missions....hmmm wait, I'm gonna list all the things he has orchestrated to get me to where I am right now (I like the word orchestrated :) )

1. God created me with a heart and proactive nature towards missions
2. God blessed me with creativity in Graphic Design and Photography
3. God initially brought me to Africa in 2001 and allowed Africa to steal part of my heart
4. God opened my eyes to Africa Inland Mission
5. God brought #'s 1-4 together to get me to where I am today

All 5 of the blessings listed above are obvious works of the Lord...pieces to my life's puzzle. Each blessing incredibly unique and purposeful. So why do I doubt God's hand in that other obvious piece of the puzzle in getting to Kenya...$$? I'm still figuring out why its hard for me to trust that it will come in...but I'm working on that.

So anyways. I've been working on my heart and knowing that I need to get to the point of fully trusting the Lord with my percentage and praising him for each percent I receive. There is nothing in me that has control over my support and therefore nothing worthy of praising. It is all the Lord and he is worthy of my praise.

There is a song that has a really meaningful verse in it that applies to me right now, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord." (Everlasting God) Sooooo, guess who is gonna work on get spiritually buff in the next few months! ;) Haha. I guess there is a timeless factor to the Lord that I need to remember. His ways are not our ways. He has the power to bring in all my support tomorrow or next year. So whether I wait a day or longer, I'm still waiting on the Lord and his perfect timing. I just hope through it I will continue to bring more glory to Him.

Well, ALL that said, this evening I checked my email and to my surprise I got another email from my facilitator. Some of my checks had not been processed and instead of being at 8%, I'm actually at 21%!!! Wow, 8%-21% just like that. Now, in light of my last post I must say....God is amazing, but even if I didn't get this email tonight, he would still be just as amazing.

I'm not gonna lie,I'm glad for that "8% email." It humbled me and taught me, and that is priceless.


Anonymous said...

I'm so grateful to see what Christ is teaching you in all this fund-raising, Kate! You're one-quarter down, three-quarters to go! "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" (Matthew 19:26).

ps - unless you wake up in the mornings looking like a psychotic clown...

Kate. said...

girl, that is AWESOME! praise God. and yay for those humbling moments... gotta love those... haha.

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