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Saturday, December 6, 2008

So it begins...finally. Its all too real now.

Oh my. I've been putting off my emotions about leaving as if it were just another "to-do" on my checklist to check off before I leave. This morning, however, that got a BIG check mark. As I was pulling out of the drive way to do a photo shoot it hit me. I'm leaving. I'm actually leaving. I've known it, but to really process and understand it in my heart, I have not. Until now. A whole year...wow. 41 days and I'll be leaving. People on the beltway must have been so confused at this girl singing in her car and tears streaming down her face....ok more like flowing down. It only got worse as the afternoon progressed. No, I didn't cry during my shoots but thought a lot. I think the last shoot was the hardest for me. It was the cutest family...and seeing the family together just made me want to be with mine and spend as much time as i can with them till I leave. Yes mom and Dad...I DID just say that! And then I called a friend on my way home from the shoot and once again the floodgates opened up. And talking to her on the phone made me realize that I want to spend as much time with those I love before I leave. How the heck am I gonna fit it all in? Well, I've got 41 days to figure it out. Until then at least I've come to terms with my emotions about all this and am no longer bottling them up. If I need to cry, I'm gonna cry and if I need to call and tell someone how much they mean to me, I'm gonna call. (Thanks Kiki for listening through my tears today and helping me process.)

Its funny, cause Kiki said "You are hurting right now because you are leaving and saying goodbye... Give it a year, Kate...and you will be crying because you are leaving Kenya." How true I anticipate that to be!

1 comments:

asgoldtothefire said...

Ah driving and crying... Happens all the time. Funny how that seems to be the best place for it. ..

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