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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

T-minus 3 days.

Nerves. Phew. I’ve got them.

Those silly little butterflies. They get me every time.

I’m spending my last few days in Kenya packing and finishing up some projects for my team, all the while these nerves keep surfacing, forcing me to face the nerves caused by one question: “What’s it going to be like?” The last time I faced this question; I was all packed and stepping one foot on a plane while one foot still on American soil.

The last time I was in America was almost a year ago. Whats it going to be like? Whats it going to be like to be back in America? To be around friends? To be around family.?

To be..out of Africa?

Of course its only for 3 weeks, but I still wonder.

I’m already praying for my expectations. That they would not exist. Expectations get me every time. I anticipate and dream up a perfect scene, a perfect life and yet it rarely ever is perfect. But even though it’s not perfect, that doesn’t mean that it is bad. It’s my own expectations that cause me to sometimes overlook the good and wish for my expectations to be fulfilled.

I was talking with a co-worker the other day about how Africa truly changes you. He put it in i n t e r e s t i n g words. “You’re ruined” he said. What a way to put it and yet it sounds like a perfect word to use. Not as in ruined physically, socially, or even spiritually. Ruined in the sense that things I once valued now have a whole new meaning in my life… or none at all. The way I view the world is different then when I first arrived.

I never knew when I first arrived that my eyes would see so much pain…and redemption. Never knew that my feet would walk in the footsteps of so many incredible men and woman of God. Never knew that I would rub shoulders with witch doctors and warriors. Never knew how many people were so eager and in need to hear the Good News.

Just wonder how its changed me and what it will be like to suddenly collide with the life I lived before I came out here. Guess I’ll find out in 4 days! :)

Please be praying with me for my preparations for leaving, safe travels, and a loss of expectations! Thank you.

I can’t wait to see many of you soon!


Courtney said...

loved this post.
praying for you, kate!

Alden and Dorian said...

We can't wait to see you Kate! Oh yes, we women totally undertand "those" expectations. You just come on home and ENJOY your family and friends! Everyone has changed and it will just be so special to see what God has done in everyone's lives these past few months. Come and rest. Go away nerves! We love you Kate!

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